KaiHaku: Grey
by Mikauzoran
Summary: A collection of HakuKai shorts. Some are serious, some are silly, and others are just plain fluffy. You could cut the tension between these two with a katana. They yell, they prank, they chase, and they antagonize, but above all they deny their feelings for each other. But we know better; they're smitten. Who will be the first to tip his hand and admit he's in love?
1. Another Selfish Episode

Mikau: Hello and welcome! Thanks for taking a moment to check out my work! "Kaihaku" means "Grey/Light Grey" in Japanese, so that's where the title comes from. This is basically where I'm going to dump all of my short HakuKai stuff. Whenever I get writer's block, I try writing exercises, like writing from prompts. These shorties are the result. That being said, these are things I've written when I'm not at my best, so please don't be too harsh on them. I was just going to let them sit around, but a friend encouraged me to publish them, and you guys are always so supportive and seem to genuinely enjoy my stories, so I hope you like these as well. Thanks, and on with the show!

Disclaimer: Really, I just like to pretend that this is all mine. I mean, I wish I owned these boys. Sadly, that is not the case; however, the law allows me to take them out to play occasionally.

…

Another Selfish Episode

"Don't look at me like that," Kaito whined, picking up the chemistry text that had been on the table in front of his roommate and pushing it into Hakuba Saguru's face.

"Like what?" Saguru chuckled, pushing the book away so that he could continue to gaze at his mate.

"Like you think I'm wonderful," the magician snorted.

"I do think you're wonderful," Saguru replied softly, smiling lovingly at the man he regrettably adored. "You _are_ wonderful."

Kaito rolled his eyes. "Stop. Seriously. I'm not your boyfriend, and I don't wanna be. I explained this whole 'friends with benefits' thing before I started sleeping with you, so stop fawning over me like a lovesick puppy."

"I understand the terms of our agreement." Saguru shrugged. "As long as you don't bring anything home with you, I don't mind the fact that you have other partners. I don't see how it's any concern of yours that I choose to treat this as a monogamous relationship."

"It's _not_ a relationship," Kaito growled, getting up and tossing his cereal bowl in the sink. "It's more of a business transaction."

Saguru smirked at Kaito's turned back. "It sounds like you're the one with the issue here. I'm perfectly happy this way, holding on to the delusion that someday you'll get tired of roaming and settle down with me."

"Hakuba. Stop. It," Kaito snarled as he gripped the edge of the counter with both hands until his knuckles turned white. "I don't belong to you. We are NOT in a relationship. I'm not gonna settle down."

"You already have," Saguru chuckled, coming up from behind and wrapping his arms around his beloved. "You're not seeing anyone else. You haven't for months, Kaito. Before you and I started up this series of 'business transactions', as you call them, I recall that you had five or six different 'friends'. In the first month after you and I started seeing each other…physically at least, your number of partners dropped from six to three, including myself. Only a few weeks after that, I was the only one left."

Kaito's grip on the countertop loosened, and his arms fell down to his sides, yet he didn't say a word.

"Despite the little charade you've been putting on for almost a full year now, I know you've only been seeing me. You're just scared of commitment, Kaito…. Regardless, we can keep playing this little game, if it makes you feel more at ease. Please, if it suits you, we can continue to pretend for the rest of our lives. We can live wherever you like, and I'll buy us whichever house you like best—even two or three, if you wish—and you can continue to go out on 'dates' whenever you need your alone time. So long as you come home to me, I can live with whatever little fantasy world you feel the need to create for yourself…because I love you, Kuroba Kaito, and I know that you love me too, even though you're afraid to admit it."

With a quick kiss on the neck, Saguru released Kaito and set about cleaning up the dishes.

Kaito frowned. He had spent the majority of his life hiding his true self from most people. Never before had he felt so transparent than in that moment.

…

Mikau: Thanks again for reading, guys. I hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know what you thought, and have a safe and fun New Year's! As for me, I plan on finding a site where I can watch the Kohaku Song Battle and eating some tangerines. Then I'm hitting up the gym. -.- I just know it's gonna be crowded. Sigh. Take care, guys!


	2. Declaration Featuring Decreasing Hope

Mikau: Happy New Year, and welcome to chapter two! Thanks so much to Bunnyz-chan and Guest for reviewing last chapter. This one's just a short, bittersweet story, but hopefully you enjoy it. Have a great 2014, everyone!

Disclaimer: I still don't own this. Though, I have recently come into possession of volumes 1-60 of the Detective Conan manga because my mother is a wonderful person. It only cost a little over $100 including shipping and the import fees! Now if I could just get the remaining twenty….

…

Declaration Featuring Decreasing Hope

"I love you!" Kuroba Kaito shouted in frustration as he balled up his fists and stood his ground.

Shinichi blinked twice.

"S-So go out with me!" the magician sputtered.

The Detective of the East opened and closed his mouth several times, but no words came out.

"Say something," Kaito demanded like a spoiled child. "I just told you I love you. _Say_ something."

"T-Thank you?" Shinichi stuttered. "I don't know, Kaito. What do you want me to say? You know I love Ran."

"The girl that left you at the altar!" Kaito snapped. "Two years ago! Shinichi, I've been by your side all this time, even during your Conan years. I've stuck by you through thick and thin. I think you owe me a little more consideration than that."

"Kaito…I'm sorry. I've truly appreciated your friendship all these years, but that's all I think of you—my friend." Shinichi bit his lip, really hating the look on Kaito's face.

"Right," Kaito sighed, turning to leave. "Yeah. Thanks."

…

"You could always seduce Ran-san as payback," Saguru suggested with a chuckle as he flipped through the few files on his desk that Kaito was _not_ sitting on.

"You know what? That's not a half bad idea, Hakuba," Kaito tittered maniacally.

"I was joking. Don't you even try it," the cop snorted. "Now get off my desk, Kuroba."

"You're no fun," the broken-hearted man pouted.

"Yes, yes. So I hear." Hakuba waved the ex-thief away from the sensitive documents he had been sitting upon. "Why don't you go see what Aoko-kun, Keiko-san, and Koizumi-san are up to? They should be able to alleviate your boredom and give you some comfort. Obviously I'm not doing much of a job of it."

"No, you are, Hakuba. Thanks," Kaito sighed. "I just always thought that Shin-chan and I were meant for each other. He just gets me, you know? Where am I gonna find someone else like that?"

"Keep looking. They may be right under your nose," the police detective sighed.

…...

Mikau: After that you can safely assume that Saguru sweeps the broken-hearted Kaito off of his feet and that they live happily ever after. Thanks for reading, guys!


	3. The Figure Eight

Mikau: Hi guys! Good to see you! Are you all keeping warm? We got some heavy snow on Sunday, and now the temperatures are ridiculously cold (comparatively, anyway). I know a lot of the US is really suffering from crazy temperatures, so I recommend that you all stay inside and read fanfiction. Yes. Go back and reread your old favorites. Run along now. Oh wait! But read this first! Haha. Anyway, thanks so much to my reviewers from last chapter: Bunnyz-chan and MercheGlee!

Disclaimer: Let's be honest—I own nothing. I'm not even caught up on Conan. I'm back at episode 523. Though, I have watch all 523 episodes in their entirety and some episodes around 650-666 that were airing while I was in Japan. I'm catching up quickly, though.

…

The Figure Eight

"I would have thought you'd been skilled at ice skating, Kuroba," Hakuba replied off-handedly once they'd returned to their room at the lodge the first night of the annual fieldtrip.

Kaito shrugged, trying to keep up appearances. "I could skate, if I wanted to."

"Oh? Then I suppose I won't bother asking you if you'd like me to show you how," Saguru chuckled. "You can surprise me tomorrow by beating me in the skating competition."

"You bet I will," Kaito snorted, his competitive streak getting the better of him.

"Really?" Hakuba pressed. "If you're so confident, you won't mind giving me a preview…. Or are you chicken?"

There was something about the blonde detective that really got Kaito hot under the collar. "You bet I will. Just say where and when. I'll skate figure eights around you, useless detective."

"Good. Grab your skates. The rink should be empty at this time of night." Saguru tried to contain a self-satisfied smirk. The pieces of his plan were just falling into place.

"S-Sure." Kaito was losing bravado fast.

…

"Well?" Hakuba gazed expectantly at his classmate. "Are you going to join me out on the ice?"

"Give me a minute," Kaito grumbled, taking a tentative step forward and promptly landing on his bottom.

Saguru smiled fondly at his rival. "I could teach you, you know, if you'd like."

"I know how to do it. I don't need anybody—especially you—to teach me," Kuroba snapped, struggling to his feet only to wobble and collapse again.

"You want to impress Aoko-kun tomorrow, yes?"

"Yes," Kaito mumbled.

"Then let me help you," Saguru urged, offering his companion a hand up.

After a moment of indecision, Kaito tentatively reached out and took the proffered hand. "It's not like I need your help, you know. I can do it myself."

"Right." Saguru smiled softly as Kuroba slipped yet again.

This time Hakuba reached out and caught the other teen, steading the brunette.

"Bend your knees slightly, Kuroba," Hakuba instructed.

Kaito gulped, bending his knees while using the detective for support. How embarrassing was it to be clinging to his rival?

"Good," Saguru whispered, his breath making strands of Kaito's hair flutter. "Now keep them bent. All you have to do is find your balance."

"Mmhm." Kaito nodded, shifting his weight slightly so that he wasn't leaning on Hakuba as much.

"I'm going to let go, and you're not going to fall. Okay?" Slowly Saguru removed his hands from the smaller boy's waist, and Kaito let go of Hakuba's shoulders.

It took a minute for Kuroba to find his balance, but he remained standing without Hakuba's assistance. A satisfied smirk spread across his lips.

Saguru grinned at his pupil's progress as well. "Very good. Now we'll try moving." The detective placed a hand at the small of Kuroba's back. "You see those serrated edges on the front part of the skates' blades?"

"Yeah?" Kaito tried not to be too preoccupied with the familiar, intimate contact.

"Those are the breaks. Now, if you're ready, push off. Don't worry. I won't let you fall."

"O-Okay." Kaito took a tentative glide forward, wobbling a little, but Saguru moved with him, always keeping a hand on him for support.

After they had gone around the rink a few times without much incident, the reassuring hand was taken away. "Good, Kuroba. Now you do it by yourself. Don't worry. I'll be right beside you."

"Got it." Kaito pushed forward with more confidence this time, and they went around the rink again, albeit a little more slowly.

Saguru was just about to comment on how well his student was doing when Kaito lost his balance and ended up on the ground. Hakuba held out his hand with a chuckle. "Well, that's not bad considering you couldn't even stand up straight thirty-two minutes and seventeen seconds ago."

Kaito snorted, taking Saguru's hand and pulling the other teen down on the ice with him.

Saguru toppled, landing awkwardly on top of the other teen.

"Oooww," Kaito groaned as they butted heads.

"Well, that's rather your own fault, isn't it?" Saguru laughed. "Serves you right."

"Bite…" Kaito gulped when he looked up and realized that Saguru's face was inches from his own. "…me."

"Gladly." Hakuba smirked evilly, leaning in and gently nipping Kuroba's earlobe.

Kaito's mouth fell open and all the blood that had been pooling in his cheeks rushed down south.

"Hn," Saguru hummed softly as he observed the state his actions had put his rival in. "Is that really all it takes to shut you up? I'll have to remember that."

"Bastard!" Kaito spit scooting backwards away from his tormentor.

"I'm sorry," Hakuba replied with sincerity, gently putting a hand on the other teen's shin. "I was just teasing. I didn't mean to embarrass you, Kuroba. I…"

Kaito held Saguru's gaze for a minute, learning things from the look in those eyes that he really hadn't wanted to know. Kaito nodded and struggled to his feet. "The reason you try to keep Aoko and me apart…isn't because you like Aoko, is it?"

Saguru stood and sighed. "Correct. I really have no interest in Nakamori Aoko. She's a sweet girl, but…you know."

"Yeah." Kaito blushed. "If we're being honest, Aoko and I probably aren't going to work out either…. Hey, I'm not promising anything, but…teach me how to do a figure eight?"

Hakuba smiled in relief. Kuroba seemed a bit uncomfortable, but at least Saguru hadn't been rejected outright. "Of course."

…

Mikau: Honestly, I don't ice skate much, but I find it enjoyable when I do. I'm not very good, but what the hey. I've never been skiing before, though. I'll be going next Wednesday, weather permitting, and I'm excited! And a little scared. I'm diabetic, so I have to be careful that my bloodsugar doesn't drop too low because I could pass out and die. No kidding. I'm super excited for the actual skiing, though. This year I'm going to do a whole bunch of cool stuff. I know I'm only twenty-three, but I'm going to start crossing items off my bucket list like skiing, traveling Europe, staying the night in a haunted house, taking dance lessons like ballroom, latin, and pole, and more! It's going to be an awesome year. Uh, anyway, thanks so much for reading, and please review! Take care!


	4. Sleeping in the Afternoon

Mikau: Good morning! I'm going skiing today! I'm probably going to fall on my rear a dozen times. Oh well. Just one more thing to check off my bucket list. Before we get started, I really want to thank the reviewers from last chapter: Bunnyz-chan, patternleap, Wieselchen, and ruru. (By the way, ruru, the kanji for kaihaku is ash, as in Haibara, and white, like Hakuba. So technically, going by the name, this could be a collection of Hakuba/Ai fics. Hmm.) I really appreciate your support, guys!

Disclaimer: If I owned, it, I'd put in more tender moments between the characters. Sappy ones where they come to understand each other better. Like this one.

…

Sleeping in the Afternoon

Baaya had to drive his father to the airport, so the young Hakuba heir found himself walking home from school that particular September afternoon.

He was tempted to complain—his uniform was itchy and hot, and his Oxfords were not made for walking such long distances in. Not to mention his school bag was heavy—but he knew that his _classmates_ walked to and from school every day. Hakuba Saguru could suck it up just this once.

At least, that's what he thought until he'd been walking a good ten minutes and his feet were starting to hurt. Luckily there was a little drainage canal nearby where he could sit down and rest on the grassy incline.

Saguru was a little surprised to find a familiar form taking a lazy afternoon nap on that self-same grassy incline.

Kuroba Kaito was fast asleep, basking in the fading, amber light of the sun.

The detective only paused for a moment to consider whether he should move farther downstream before his feet protested and he ended up just sitting down a few feet off from the magician.

Hakuba removed his shoes and stretched out a little, casting his rival a surreptitious glance.

The brunette didn't stir.

Saguru wondered how Kuroba could be comfortable using his own school satchel as a pillow. "Isn't that uncomfortable?" the detective mused softly out loud.

The rustling of a warm breeze in the trees was the only response.

Saguru stole another look at his classmate. "How can you sleep like that here? Like you don't have a care in the world?"

Kuroba lay motionless, breathing evenly.

"There are people out there trying to kill you, you know," Hakuba snorted, indignant at the thief's carefree attitude.

Some children in the distance giggled as they played soccer down by the edge of the water, under the train overpass.

"I wouldn't be able to sleep at night, if I were you, Kuroba," the detective scoffed. "Don't you worry that they'll come for you? Aren't you the slightest bit concerned?"

A train let out a long blast of its horn as it clickety-klacked its way across the bridge over the floodplain.

"No one's going to come for Kuroba Kaito in the middle of the night because no one's trying to kill Kuroba Kaito," mumbled the seemingly unconscious boy. "Besides, I get most of my sleep in class and here after school."

Kuroba hadn't shifted a bit from his relaxed, peaceful sleeping pose. As far as any passerby was concerned, the boy appeared to be dead to the world.

Hakuba bit his lip and considered these facts a minute. "So…I should probably keep quiet about your true identity…. I'm sorry. I've been rather public with my accusations of you thus far, haven't I?" Then and there he swore to keep his mouth shut about Kuroba equaling Kid on national TV.

"Hakuba," Kuroba chuckled, sitting up and stretching against the backdrop of the setting sun. "My _true _identity is Kuroba Kaito. That's the name I was born with; that's who I _really_ am." The thief turned and smirked at his rival, the sun's light silhouetting him, making him appear to glow like some kind of fairy or demi-god of lore. "Even if I did moonlight as Kid, that would be my _secret _identity."

Saguru silently absorbed the meaning behind the literal words and found himself nodding slightly in understand.

"So, for the thousandth time, I'm not _Kid_; I'm Kuroba Kaito." The imp got to his feet with a triumphant little spring in his step.

"So you are," Saguru breathed. And then he frowned. "I'm still going to arrest you for grand larceny and destruction of public and private property, Kuroba Kaito."

Kuroba rolled his eyes as he hissed, "Stubborn detective."

"Stubborn thief," Hakuba countered as he put his shoes back on and got to his feet.

"Magician," the thief muttered as his rival fell into step beside him.

…

Mikau: Aren't they cute? Thanks again for reading guys. I'd love to hear what you think, if you'd take a minute to send in your thoughts. Like I've said before, this is kind of just my really rough stuff, so I already know there's room for improvement, but if there was anything you especially liked about it, I'd be glad to hear it. Take care you guys!


	5. Stormy Skies

Mikau: Hey, guys! How's it going? I'm doing well. I just realized that Valentine's is coming up, though, and I owe you all HakuKai and KaiShin Valentine's specials, don't I? Shoot. I guess I'll have to start coming up with ideas, won't I? In the meantime, enjoy this next short. And thanks so much to Bunnyz-chan for reviewing last chapter!

Disclaimer: If I owned it, I'd quickly run out of ways to kill people using duct tape and piano wire. Seriously. As I've learned from Detective Conan, you can murder people in dozens of creative ways if you have piano wire and duct tape!

…

Stormy Skies

"Wait!" Hakuba found himself shouting unexpectedly as he reached the top of the stairwell and found the Kaitou Kid about to take off. "Don't jump!"

The thief turned slowly, raising an eyebrow and giving the blonde a look that clearly said, "It's not like I'm taking a shortcut to the ground floor, you idiot."

Instead the phantom somewhat impatiently responded with, "Yes, Tantei-san? May I help you?"

"I…" Saguru gave a bit of a false start. "Uh…there's a storm coming in. Do you really think you should be flying in that direction? That is to say, isn't it too dangerous to attempt escape by glider in this impending inclement weather?"

Saguru received another look that challenged his intelligence. This time Kid's face seemed to say, "Did someone hit you with a stupid stick this morning, Detective? You seem a little on the brain-dead side today."

Again the jewel thief seemed to gather his patience as he replied, "Well, while I do see your point, Tantei-san, I don't really see where I have other options. You sort of have me cornered on a rooftop with nowhere to go but down or up, so I'm just going to have to risk flying in the storm."

"I wish you wouldn't," Hakuba interjected before quite thinking it through. "What I mean is that if something…were to happen to you…I—Aoko-kun would be devastated…. I think you might have a better time of disguising yourself as me and telling the others that you escaped while you, in reality, escape as me."

Kid blinked. "Why…would you offer to help me escape, Detective Hakuba?"

Saguru shifted uncomfortably, casting his eyes downward. "Why does it matter why I do what I do? You don't really have much time if you're going to gas me and stash my body somewhere before the others show up. They weren't _that_ far behi—"

The detective was out cold before he could even finish his sentence, and Kaito was disguised and had the body hidden in a matter of minutes.

Before he made a break for it, Kaito thought to set up an open umbrella over the Brit and slide a red rose into the blonde's breast pocket to express his gratitude. He tried not to think much about his rival's motivation for protecting the thief and the way Hakuba's cheeks had been suspiciously rosy throughout the encounter.

Kaito decided that the bumbling blonde must be getting a cold. It wasn't good to over-think things.

…

Mikau: There. Short, sweet, done. Please drop me a line, if you feel so inclined. Also, I've got a new poll out on my profile page, since I have a bit of writing ADHD right now. I can't focus, so I'm wondering how you guys want me to prioritize my work. Thanks, as always for reading! Have a super special awesome day!


	6. The Cup on the Desk

Mikau: Hey guys! Just a short, fun chapter today, but, before we get going, I want to thank Bunnyz-chan, Wieselchen, and patternleap for reviewing last chapter! I hope you guys like this one as well!

Disclaimer: If I were a middle-aged, Japanese, male mangaka, I too would, from time to time write chapters that took place in other parts of Japan so that my company would pay for me to go sightseeing…in the name of research for the chapter, of course.

…

The Cup on the Desk

It was late, and he was still doing blasted Kid heist paperwork down at the station. As if it wasn't enough that the stupid thief had dyed his hair bloody turquoise, covered him in glitter and those annoyingly hard to get out of your (insert clothing article here) confetti pieces, and then publically humiliated him in front of the entire nation of Japan, now Hakuba Saguru had to do paperwork, recounting his horrendous evening in nauseating detail and in triplicate!

He must have dozed off somewhere around three twenty-six, for it was four o'clock when he awoke again, and his internal clock told him that precisely thirty-four minutes and twenty point three seconds had passed.

Strange, he thought to himself as he wiped the little line of drool from the corner of his mouth to the side of his left cheek. He had been covered with a shock blanket, and a small pillow had been placed under his head. In addition, there in front of him sat a fresh mug of coffee prepared with what tasted like just the right balance of creamer and sugar. And it was still warm.

As Saguru lifted the mug to his lips, a familiar-looking calling card that had been sitting underneath the cup came into view.

Saguru snorted.

It was just like Kid to sneak into the police station in order simply to bully him with kindness.

The card urged him to persevere and assured him that his arch nemesis had faith in him.


	7. A Dream Forgotten

Mikau: Hey there! This…This is just a fun one. ^.^; I hope you enjoy it. Special thanks go out to Bunnyz-chan, patternleap, ruru, and Wieselchen who were all so kind as to review last chapter. Thanks everyone!

Disclaimer: If I owned it, I'd use the proceeds to permanently relocate to Kyoto. I miss the Nishioji Station area. Kameoka was pretty awesome too.

…

A Dream Forgotten

It started off the way many of his dreams had been lately—with his classmate Kuroba Kaito moaning in ecstasy and writhing in pleasure after he had been forced to the ground and partially disrobed.

It had become a very familiar scene as of late, only this time something was different. The one doing the disrobing and giving pleasure was not Hakuba Saguru himself, but one Kaitou Kid.

Saguru blinked as Kuroba gasped, "K-Kiddo-sama…"

Either he was seeing double, or Kid and Kuroba were not so entirely the same person as Saguru had thought they were.

The next day after waking, he gave little credence to the half-forgotten dream and carried on about his business like usual.

It wasn't until the fourth showing of that particular dream that he began to doubt himself.

Upon the eighth night in a row, Saguru confronted Kuroba. "Are you and the Kaitou Kid separate entities?"

Kuroba blinked twice, juice box suspended in midair, halfway to his mouth. "…Yeah. I've been telling you that for about a year now. Why do you finally ask?"

Saguru frowned closing the roof-access door and leaving without answering the question.

On the next heist night, Saguru made sure to keep right on Kid's heels, and when he was finally the only one left in the running, he called out to the thief: "Kid, you wouldn't happen to be a homo, would you?"

The illustrious thief lost his footing and collided with the ground. He looked up incredulously at his pursuer.

The detective and thief stared at each other a moment before Kid finally screeched, "What?!"

"Are you gay? Yes or no. I've recently discerned that you and the man I love are two different people, but the man I hope to marry when it becomes legal to do so just so happens to be a maniacal fan of yours. It has occurred to me that you may be my romantic rival, so I wish to ascertain your sexual preference. Therefore: Kid, are you a homosexual?"

Kid just stared at the detective in a bit of confused horror as Kuroba Kaito flailed to digest all the interesting new information he had been presented with.


	8. Be My Valentine

Mikau: Hi there! I survived Valentine's Day! Just barely. I remind you that I'm a florist. It was hellish. Anyway, this is just a little drabble that I messed over over the weekend when I had some writer's block. It's unpolished and kind of choppy, but hopefully you'll find it amusing. It's stuff like this that helps me get the guck out so I can write my other stuff. In other news, thank you so much to the reviewers from last chapter: patternleap, MeitanteiRose, and Windying!

Disclaimer: If I owned it, I'd be vacationing on some tropical island with the proceeds right about now. This winter has been a little ridiculous, and I'd really like some warmth right about now.

…

Be My Valentine

"Don't you have a girlfriend you're supposed to be spending the evening with?" Hakuba's eyebrow arched up over the rim of his reading glasses. "Today is Valentine's Day, isn't it?"

Kaito gave his best friend a wilting smile. "Long story. Let me in and I'll explain?"

Saguru shrugged, stepping to the side to let Kaito pass. "Are you ever going to learn to use the front door like a normal human being?"

Kaito rolled his eyes with a smirk. "That's so boring. Besides, why bother pretending to be normal? We both know I'm secretly a space alien; there's no need to put up the pretense for you."

"Quite," Hakuba snorted lightly, going over to his little mini-fridge/microwave setup to fetch a mug of hot chocolate for his guest. "But you do know that people will start talking if they find out about you sneaking into my bedroom like that. Did you want marshmallows?"

"Oh, I can just see the steamy tabloid headings now," Kaito snickered, making himself at home, sitting on the arm of Hakuba's couch. "Let them talk. We've been doing this whole climbing up the tree, entering from the balcony bit for…three years now? No one seems to have noticed yet…besides Baaya….Yes, please to the marshmallows."

"So…" Saguru raised an eyebrow once more as he handed Kaito's mug over. "You were going to explain."

Kaito grimaced. "So, I told you that Aoko had invited me over to her place tonight for dinner because she said we needed to talk about our relationship and where it was going. I said cool because I had wanted to talk about our relationship too, and I kind of thought we were on the same page. So, I get there, and it's all candle-lit and romantic stuff, and she comes down the stairs wearing…well…little, itty-bitty swatches of see-through lace."

Saguru's eyes went wide as he nodded slowly in understanding, his face cherry tomato red at the mental picture. "She had intended for the two of you to take your relationship to the next level." Saguru's heart sunk. No use clinging to false hope any longer. "…Hold on. Why aren't you with her now? It's only ten o'clock. Kuroba, you don't just…just…make love to a woman and then leave!"

"We broke up," Kaito replied softly, gazing down into his chocolate drink, watching the marshmallows float.

"I'm not following you." Saguru set down his own cup of tea and took a seat on the coffee table beside it. "She broke up with you afterwards? Are you no good in bed or something? I mean…what? What did she say?"

Kaito shook his head. "Hakuba, nothing happened between us. I took one look at her, put my coat around her shoulders, kissed her on the forehead, and told her I wasn't worthy of her. I told her she deserved a real man…a real _gentleman_, and that was it. I mean, she cried and swore like her father and threw things and demanded an explanation, so I told her I loved her too much to let her end up with a slug like me, and then I left."

Saguru moved to the couch, sitting at Kaito's side and patting the brunette on the knee in a feeble attempt to comfort his friend. "That…must have been extremely difficult for you."

Kaito nodded, appreciating Saguru's kind gesture. "I couldn't lie to her anymore. I couldn't…I have no right to be in a relationship with her like that. I couldn't hurt her like that. If we took it any further and she found out my secret…she'd be devastated. It's bad enough as is. I…I'm a cruel, heartless, selfish jerk, but I care about her too much to hurt her like that, so…we broke up."

"I'm sorry," Saguru whispered, only partly sincere. He truly felt sorry for Kaito's loss, and he would never wish such suffering on his dearest friend, but…on the other hand, the one obstacle that Saguru thought he could never hope to overcome in his quest to win Kaito's affections—Aoko—was now no longer an issue.

Kaito shook his head. "It was bound to happen sooner or later. We were never going to work out."

"You two seemed like the perfect couple to me, but what do I know about romance?" Hakuba shrugged.

"There have been some pretty big hurdles between me and Aoko for years now," Kaito confessed. "Other than just Kid, I mean. We've been growing apart, and things have…_people_ have…some_one_, actually, has come between us."

Saguru's eyes narrowed in confusion. "Was there…someone else that Aoko-kun was interested in?"

Kaito chuckled softly, shaking his head. "She had a thing for you for a while there, but that's not what I'm talking about. Me. I meant me."

This time those honeycomb-colored eyes narrowed in a slow-simmering fury. "Kudo Shinichi," he hissed. "It's that Kudo Shinichi, isn't it? You're always on and on about him. It's him, isn't it?"

This brought on a full-blown fit of laughter. "No!" Kaito giggled, scooting down off of the arm of the couch and coming to sit beside his friend. He smiled, looking up into Saguru's eyes. "It's not Shin-chan."

Saguru blinked a little stupidly while his brain attempted to recalculate. "…Koizumi-san? She's…pretty…. Strange. I mean…eccentric."

"No, Saguru," Kaito corrected, taking the detective's cheeks in his hands and forcing the blonde to look him in the eye.

Saguru was struck silent for a good half a minute before he finally replied, "Well? Who is it then? Because you can't possibly be insinuating that it's me."

Kaito sighed, head dropping down in defeat. He took a deep breath before quickly going in for the kill, pulling Saguru's lips to his own before he lost his nerve. He kissed the blonde feverishly, but Saguru didn't respond.

Kaito's lips gradually slowed to a halt, and he pulled back in utter mortification.

Saguru, who had been absolutely stunned by Kaito's sudden actions, finally found his voice. "Though, you know, I wouldn't say no, if you insisted that you truly were insinuating that it's me."

Kaito's gaze flew up to meet Saguru's. "Seriously?"

The detective nodded, cheeks quickly turning pink. "Yes. In fact…I've quite fancied you for a while myself."

Kaito's eye began to twitch. "Then what was up with the complete lack of a reaction when I started sucking on your lips?" he grumbled.

"Honestly, I thought I was merely daydreaming…. It happens sometimes. I…I'm frankly having a hard time believing that this is real," Hakuba explained sheepishly.

"Well, give me an hour or two." Kaito smiled coyly. "I'll see if I can convince you."

"Like I said before: I won't protest…if you insist," Saguru flirted back, squirming in embarrassment.

"I insist," Kaito purred, pressing his lips to Saguru's once more as he laid the blonde down on the couch.


	9. Yesterday or Tomorrow

Mikau: Hello again! Thanks so much for coming back. This one's just a tiny short, but I hope it brings a smile to your face. It was fun to write them as annoying rivals. Thanks to MeitanteiRose and patternleap for your reviews last chapter!

Disclaimer: If I owned it…oh, the havoc I could wreak. Bwahaha!

…

Yesterday or Tomorrow

"Kuroba, when did you plan to finish filling out that form I gave to you about your witness testimony?" Saguru sighed.

"Yesterday," Kuroba answered helpfully. "…or tomorrow."

Saguru's eyes narrowed. "You do realize that this is important, don't you? The criminal could get away if you don't do your part. How does today work for you?"

"Nah, today's out. I have to wash my hair today, and that's an all-day affair. How about never? Does never work for you?" The belligerent magician yawned.

"You're not taking this very seriously," Saguru replied flatly.

"Hakuba, jaywalking isn't really a very serious offensive in my opinion. I'm not going to write up a long, complicated witness testimony just because some kid didn't use the crosswalk. You're stupid. Leave me alone."


End file.
